Coffin dodging

There’s a pivot point in life when it dawns on you that nature is no longer on your side.

The vital, benevolent presence that allowed you to party all night and not feel too bad in the morning has mutated into the grim reaper. When did that happen?

I remember working all night to get a job done, or being kept awake by a teething child, and really not suffering too badly the next day. Now the reverse is true; stay up until midnight one night and I’m non-functional for two days.

All the little injuries and any surgery you’ve had come back to pain you afresh. It’s a concerted effort to grind you down and stamp you out.

It seems that all the favours mother nature gives in youth now have to be repaid in full, with interest.

As far as nature (and the government) is concerned, we are now surplus to requirements. You can almost hear nature (and the government) saying ‘Could you hurry up and die, please? You’ve had your kids/done your work, now you’re just taking up too many resources, so just piss off”.

I’m not going to warmly ramble on about the vast wisdom and patience of the ‘third agers’, a band of society to which I’m a new recruit. My argument is that we’re pretty useful just in hard, economic terms. We’re putting money into the economy (especially pubs and hostelries). We’re buying services and products, sometimes at an even greater rate than before. For example, I’ve just had my first new kitchen fitted.

Now I’ve spotted this vendetta by nature (and the government), I’m going to rear up in revolution. They’re not getting me out of here until I’ve sucked the goodness out of my pension fund. I believe you have to be 85 to get back what you put in, so, 90 years of age, here I come!

As for nature, I’ll get fit and start running…

Suddenly, I’ve come over all tired. Must be that late night I had last Thursday.


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