Outside and inside my head

I’ve got no idea what’s happening round the back of my head. We don’t have the right set up of mirrors in my house to see round the back. This morning I decided to take a photo to see how fetching my hair regrowth is, and what colour it is.

Regrowth of hair after chemo

Hmm. Not too bad. I’m hoping I can be hatless on Christmas day without scaring everybody.

Inside my head is an entirely different matter. Treatment has now finished, and I’ve entered a plateau of wilderness. I don’t know if it’s worked, and I don’t know what will happen if it hasn’t.

Reading fellow bloggers’ words I see that we all go through similar emotions; disbelief, fear and anger at first, followed by a burgeoning of hope as we start treatment, then this empty plateau.

In common with so many others, I’m entirely fed up with the way cancer has hijacked my head. There’s not many minutes of the day when dealing with it isn’t in my thoughts. There’s a few minutes on waking where it’s forgotten, possibly, if I haven’t managed to dream about it. Where’s the rest of my personality gone? Where’s the creativity? The big thoughts?

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7 responses to “Outside and inside my head

  1. Your hair re-growth is looking great. Very promising. I wish that I had as much hair Vicky. I especially like the falling flakes of festive dandruff – very pretty πŸ™‚

  2. I have spent most of my adult life paying to have my hair cut each week to achive that look. Are you being treated at Torbay Hospital? My parents have several friends who beat the “big C” at that place – and they are much older than you!

    Have a great Xmas.

  3. I’m going to get Big Al to shave his belly…. No reason what’s so ever other than its funny.
    In other news my thoughts and prayers are with you and the family… And good luck over Christmas, I’m not sure I could put up with Ol Stripey Seaman during the festive period, lol!

    Take care Abi’s mum and you’ll be giving those hair dressers some work soon.

  4. I can so relate – to the limbo, to the hair regrowing – I took a photo yesterday for the exact same reason – I’m about at the same stage although my hair is white! I still look relatively bald from the front. I’ve never done the hat/wig/scarf thing and this bald look is growing old. I’m 6 weeks post-chemo and am experiencing aches and pains, unbelievable fatigue and a whole lot of anxiety. Thanks for your post.

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